


Earth Games are Weird

by Derpboom



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) is So Done, Boredom, Confused aliens, Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man, Disappointed Shiro, Earth Games, Flustered Keith (Voltron), GET DOWN, Games, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gymnast Lance, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Keith and his knife, Keith loves his whistle, Klance if you squint, Lance gets reckt, Lance shows up early with starbucks, MR.PRESIDENT, Manhunt - Freeform, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pidge is chaotic neutral, References to Supernatural (TV), Singing Lance (Voltron), Sneaky Lance, Still no beta, Team as Family, Tiny chapter, Twister - Freeform, Vines, We Will Rock You, dodgeball - Freeform, everyone is shook, jumpscares, lance plays guitar, poor lance, thanks obama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-08-22 22:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Derpboom/pseuds/Derpboom
Summary: Paladins playing earth games, suggestions appreciated. Updates when I get more ideas or requests.[On hiatus until further notice]





	1. GET DOWN MR.PRESIDENT

It started with Hunk. Normally you wouldn’t really expect this, but there had been a lull in missions recently, and nerves were getting tense. As he made breakfast, his hand went up to his ear, and left it hanging there as the other paladins shuffled in to eat. A mischievous grin formed on his face as he turned to the group.

Next to go was Pidge, whose eyes narrowed as they mirrored Hunk, hand on their ear as they typed away with the other. By this point, Coran and Allura had arrived.

“What are you two doing?” asked Coran. “Is this some sort of human thing like the ‘dabbing’ that Lance showed us the other day?”

“Shhhhh!” Pidge hissed. “Just put your hand on your ear and wait. I’ll explain in a minute.” They gave an evil grin. “Just don’t take your hand off your ear until I tell you to.”

Confused but curious, Coran shrugged and put a hand on his ear. “Alrighty then! Though this seems strange, I shall partake in this endeavor with you!”

Pidge looked over at a confused Allura, who was still standing in the doorway. “Trust me princess.” They giggled, eyes full of mirth. “It’s better if you just play along.”

Begrudgingly, Allura made her way into the room and placed a hand on her ear. “I don’t understand the point of this though.” She exclaimed. “What’s so important about touching your ear?”

“I would trust Pidge,” a voice piped form the hallway, and everyone turned to see Shiro leaning against the door, Galra prosthetic covering his ear. “They’re usually right about this kind of stuff. Besides, it wouldn’t be great to see you hurt when this is over.”

The two Altean’s eyes widen at this, and they share a worried glance. Noticing their discomfort, Hunk piped up. “Don’t worry guys. It’ll be funny, you’ll see.”

Just then, Keith trudged in, followed closely by Lance, who was complaining about having to get up. Sighing, Keith looked up to exchange a glance with Shiro, but startled when he saw what everyone was doing. Looking back at Lance, who was stuck in his own little world, he grinned maliciously as he placed a hand on his ear.

Feeling all eyes on him, Lance snapped out of his daydream. “What’s up? Why is everyone so-” He paused a moment and looked at the group before him. “OH NO.”

“GET DOWN MR.PRESIDENT!!” Cried Hunk, Pidge, and surprisingly, Shiro as they lunged to tackle Lance. Dodging out of the way, Keith was barely able to make it to safety before Shiro was on top of Lance, bowling him onto the floor.

“NOOOOO!” Wailed Lance, dramatically flailing his arms as Hunk and Pidge joined the dogpile. “I’m always last! Whyyyyyyy!!” Snickering, Keith situated himself on the top of the pile, sitting as though he was on a throne, even though it was only Hunk’s back.

“Better luck next time!” Snorted Pidge, squirming to look Lance in the eye.

Confused, Coran walked over to the pile of paladins. “What was that about? Why did you tackle Lance? Why did you call him ‘Mr.President’? What is a President?”

Still laughing, it was Keith who answered the questions, standing so that Hunk could get up too. “That was a very popular Earth game that friends like to play together.” He said, pulling Pidge to their feet.

“On Earth, the leader of our government is called the President.” Pidge explained to the Alteans. “He’s more of a figurehead than a leader, but he does have political power.”

“The President has a group of personal protectors called the Secret Service.” Hunk continued, pushing himself off the floor. “They’re super mysterious, and always wear radios over their ears to warn them of threats to the President.”

Shiro stands up and holds out a hand to Lance to help him up. “To play the game, you pretend to be a secret service agent and put your hand to your ear like you’re getting a message.” He explains, turning to face the group. “As other people notice, they put their hand to their ear to ‘receive a message’ too. Once everyone but one person is covering their ear, the last person then becomes the President.” He then looks at Lance expectantly, and the boy in question sighed before finishing.

“Everybody then yells ‘GET DOWN MR.PRESIDENT!’ and tackles the ‘President’, like they’re protecting them from harm.” He glares at the others. “You have to tackle them no matter what, and I’ve seen some impressive injuries come from it.” Lance sighs and turns back to Allura and Coran. “Do you get it now?”

“Absolutely Number 3!” Coran exclaimed. “This seems like an interesting topic! Do you think you could explain the government more later? I would like to compare it to the old Altean ways!”

Allura nodded. “I would be interested too.” She said, “It would be fun to learn more about your culture.”

“I’d love to,” Lance started, “But I don’t know much more than that. Pidge or Shiro would be better at teaching you.” Turning to leave, he didn’t notice 6 hands being placed on their owner’s ears, evil glints in their eyes. “Anyways, I’m gonna go sleep in some mor-” As he turns around to wave goodbye, his eyes widen in terror. “NOT AGAIIIIINNN!” Lance screeches, bolting down the hall.

“MR.PRESIDENT NOOOOOOOO!” Pidge and Hunk yell, bolting after him. Making eye contact with each other, the last four snort, then jog after their escaping President.


	2. Manhunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Manhunt time! Allura is still confused, but Coran joins in. Wonder where everyone's hiding??

It was quiet for once on the castleship, Allura having given the paladins time off that day to relax after a particularly stressful mission. She had last seen them in the lounge, heads close like they were debating something, and then all of them had darted off except for Shiro, who stayed seated. Not wanting to get in the way of whatever was about to happen, Allura made a weak excuse and escaped to the bridge.

The quiet didn't last very long though, when a laughing Keith was chased by a determined Shiro. Skidding through the door, Keith threw his hands in the air and yelled, “SAFE!”

Shiro slid to a stop, shook his head, and ran back the way he came, looking back and forth as he ran. Confused, Allura walked over to Keith, who was catching his breath, winded from running. “What did you do to make Shiro chase you like that?” she asked. “Did you steal his eyeliner again?”

Letting out a snort, Keith stood up straight and turned to face her. “No. We're just playing another game from earth.” Walking over to the central dias, he sat down facing the doorway, like he was expecting someone. “It's called Manhunt, and Shiro sucks at it.”

There was a clang, and both jumped as one of the vents popped open and Pidge jumped out. “Oh, Keith's already here? I thought Lance would be first, since he has so many cousins and nieces and nephews and all.” They jogged over and sat next to Keith. “But yeah, Manhunt. There's one person who’s like the ‘hunter’ and the other people are ‘hiders’.” Pidge explained. “The idea is for the ‘hiders’ to hide, then run to the ‘safe zone’ before getting caught by the ‘hunter’.”

The door opened with a hiss, and a sullen Hunk walked in, followed by a smug Shiro. As soon as Hunk walked through the door, Shiro was off once again, back down the halls of the castle. Grinning, Keith went over to pat Hunk on the shoulder. “Did he corner you?”

“Yeah.” Hunk grumbled. “I'm just not fast enough for this kinda thing. He got me in the infirmary.”

“Tough luck buddy.” A new voice piped up from behind the main console, and everyone whirled around to see Lance leaning against it, sipping out of a water pouch.

“When did you get here?!” Pidge cried from where they had fallen on the floor. “Nobody is that fast! Plus, you can't fit in the vents like I can!”

“Came through the other door.” Everyone's heads turned to look where he pointed his thumb, and saw a slightly smaller door on the other side of the room. “As soon as Shiro started counting, I came in here. Hid just outside the door, but came in here. As soon as we were allowed to move, I walked right in.” He laughed at all of the others. “What? You learn a few tricks after having 10 people chase you at once.

The door slid open again, and Coran slid in, looking around before letting the door close behind him. Spotting the group at the dias, he jogged over. “How long do you think it will take for Number 1 to realize that Number 3 is already here?”

Keith laughed. “I give him 15 minutes, then he'll be coming in asking for help.”

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, Shiro slides into the room. “Guys have you seen-” he looks up at the group and mentally counts heads. “LANCE! How did you? When? Wha?”

Everyone laughed. “New round!” Pidge cried. “Lance is it this time! And NO hiding within 10 yards of the safe zone!” They took off, and the room emptied quickly, leaving Lance in the center.

“I wonder how long it will take them to realize I had access to the cameras.” Lance pondered aloud. “Oh well. They'll find out soon enough. I should probably give them a head start though.” He sets down his drink, and the doors close behind him with a hiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still working on jumpscares, but it'll be out soon! For now, this will have to do. Leave a kudos if you enjoyed, and game suggestions in the comments are welcome! See you next chapter!


	3. BOO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by TheLeaderWithADragon5oul, Jumpscares is finally here! Sorry if I didn't get the game right, but I tried my best.
> 
> The paladins play jumpscares, and Allura is so done. Klance if you squint and tilt your head to the right a little.

The paladins were acting strange lately. The mood was tense, even though they had finished a mission the day before. Allura was starting to get worried, and she could tell Coran was too.

It had started small. Cold hands on shoulders, sudden loud noises, each orchestrated by a different paladin. But as soon as Shiro was the one startled, everything went to chaos.

Humanoid shadow cutouts on the walls, and a particularly scary one in the showers. Lance was the one to find it, and it had taken him 2 quintants just to start going to that bathroom again. Masks in cabinets, under the toilet lids, behind doors. It seemed like everywhere was fair game. Then, there was the whiteboard that had found it's way into the lounge. On it was a picture of each paladin, and a number of tick marks that seemed to change daily, like it was keeping score.

Having had enough after Hunk had dropped several plates that morning, Allura dragged everyone to the lounge. “This is getting ridiculous!” She berated, pacing back and forth in front of the humans, who all managed to look sheepish. “What is going on with all of you?”

The paladins were quiet, looking back and forth at each other like small children who didn't want to get in trouble. Finally Hunk sighed and spoke up, hand scratching the back of his head. “It's another earth game. You try to scare each other until someone gives in.” He looks at the others. “But we all know how stubborn these guys are, so it got kinda… out of hand.”

All of the tension in the room melted away after that. Allura sighed and massaged her forehead, trying to keep her latest headache at bay. “It's fine. Just let me know the next time you plan on starting something like this.” She turned to walk out the door, but as soon as she did, the lights went out.

“Uh… guys?” A nervous Lance asked, totally not clinging to Keith. “What's going on?”

“It wasn't me.” Keith replied, definitely not practically hugging Lance at this point.

“I haven't rigged anything like this recently.” Called Pidge from on top of Shiro's head. “Something must have happened to the castle's power.”

“Wait,” Hunk whispered, white as a sheet. “Where's Coran?”

The door burst open with an ear splitting SHREEEK and Coran flew in with a loud “BOO!”

Startled, Shiro fell over the back of the couch, bringing Pidge down with him, as they still had a death grip on the top of his head. Lance and Keith screamed louder (later Lance would claim ‘I did not sound like a girl! That was totally Keith!’), and clung to each other even tighter. Hunk fell on the floor, looking like a startled cat, while Allura jumped about 3 feet in the air then sighed at her adviser’s antics.

Groaning, Hunk stumbled back to his feet and collapsed on the couch. “Game over. No more. Coran wins.”

With a chorus of “Agreed” everyone collapsed again, Coran standing over them in victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this one is ok! Like always, comments and kudos appriciated. Leave suggestions in the comments! Thanks for reading.


	4. Cup Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is homesick and the others want to help. Bonding moment ensues.

The room was mostly quiet, the only noises being silverware clinking on plates. Hunk had found new ingredients to experiment with, and had made something that resembled a hamburger. Naturally, everyone was thrilled.

As plates were scraped clean and drinks finished off, Lance perked up. Shooting to his feet and earning a small yelp from Pidge, he ran out of the room. Confused, the rest of the group looked at eachother.

Two seconds later, Lance burst back in, only to say “Meet me in the lounge!”, swipe something off the table, and disappear again. Still confused, they cleared the table and did what he asked.

When they got there, they were greeted by the sight of Lance sitting at the coffee table, a cup on front of him. Around the table were four more cups, one for each paladin. Hunk lit up, realizing what Lance was planning. Sitting down and grabbing a cup, he and Lance began to move in sync.

Clap clap tap tap tap clap swish clunk. Clap grab up down grab flip down.

Keeping a steady rhythm, neither blinked when Shiro and Pidge joined them, catching on quickly. Silently, Allura and Coran stayed back, curious and amazed by the spectacle. Both glanced at Keith, who had yet to join the others. Surprisingly, he had a soft look on his face. Noticing their looks, he decided to explain.

“It's a song from back home,” he said softly, as to not disturb the others. “I mean, it's kind of a game? You can make the rhythm more complicated, and there's words to go with it.” Keith explained. “Just watch and listen.”

Making his way over to the table, he took the last spot between Pidge and Shiro. Joining the rhythm, all five were moving in sync, looking at piece. They started switching cups each round, and pretty soon, Lance started singing sofly.

 

“I've got my ticket for the long way round.” He started, looking up for a moment, his eyes inviting the Alteans closer. Slowly, they made their way over and sat behind the paladins.

“Two bottles of whisky for the way.” Hunk joined in, his voice melding with Lance's, the melody gradually getting louder. Shiro spoke up next.

“And I sure would like your sweet company,” he sang, and Pidge and Keith joined him, the whole group singing along.

“And I'm leaving tomorrow, whaddaya say?” Noticing she was swaying to the song, Allura looked over at Coran, and found him doing the same thing. Noticing her look, he winked, but didn't say anything, as neither wanted to break the tranquility flowing off the paladins.

“When I'm gone.” Lance started, the others repeating like an echo. “When I'm gone. You’re gonna miss me when I'm gone.”

“You're gonna miss me by my hair,” Keith sang, sticking his tongue out at Lance for a second before continuing. “You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh.” The rest joined back in, in a slight harmony.

“You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.” There was a round of silence, only the rhythm of the cups audible. Then, Pidge spoke up, carrying into the second verse.

“I've got my ticket for the long way round, the one with the prettiest of views.” Harmonizing, a smile made its way onto Shiro's face, and Lance was quick to join in again.

“It's got mountains, it's got rivers, it's got sights to give you shivers, and it sure would be prettier with you.” Allura smiled softly, relaxed by the melody as the others joined back in.

“When I'm gone. When I'm gone. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. You're gonna miss me by my walk, you're gonna miss me by my talk, oh. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.” With a note of finality, the song tapered off, the only sounds left being Lance and the cups, repeating the final words.

“When I'm gone. When I'm gone. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.” He looks up for a moment, and all the paladins smile each other, seemingly deciding something without saying a word.

“You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me everywhere, oh.” Lance sings, with an air of finality. “You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.”

When Lance finished, the group stopped swapping cups. Tapering off, Lance was the first to stop, setting down his cup one last time before putting his hands in his lap. Hunk followed a round later, then Pidge, then Shiro, leaving Keith by himself, tapping the pattern once more.

Clap clap tap tap tap clap swish clunk. Clap grab up down grab flip down.

Satisfied, Keith removed his hands, and the room was quiet for a minute, nobody wanting to break the calm. Snapping out of his trance, Coran was the first to speak.

“That was beautiful!” He exclaimed, eyes shining with delight. “What brought this on?”

“Homesickness, mostly.” Lance replied, a sad smile on his face. “My family would gather around the dining room table every week and sing this. I guess I decided doing it with my new family would help.” He said, hopefully looking up, locking eyes with Shiro.

Everyone looked at eachother and back at Lance, and as one, tackled him in a group hug. They stayed like that for a long time, and ended up falling asleep.

Sharing a look with Coran, Allura grabbed blankets from the couches and covered the humans with them. Joining Coran at the door, they both looked at the little family on the floor.

“There is still so much we don't know about our paladins.” Allura stated softly, proud of the small group. “I hope they will open up more in the future. We are family after all.”

Meeting each other’s eyes once more, the Alteans quietly left the room, leaving the new family to sleep.

But not without drawing on their faces first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus this one's long. I was on a roll and I couldn't stop. Hope you liked it, and if you did, comments and kudos are great. I take requests and suggestions, so feel free to leave them! Thanks for reading!!


	5. Twister ft. Flushed Keith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twister, as requested by heartbreakerninja
> 
> This was a lot of fun to write, so I hope you like it!

“Soo… What are we doing again?” Keith asked, just a tad afraid of the wide grins that the Garrison Trio were sporting. The three looked at eachother, and then at Shiro, who had finally arrived in the training room.

“It took us two hours to get this right,” Hunk cheered as Pidge and Lance did a complicated handshake behind him. “So you better have fun!” Lance and Pidge dabbed, and held the pose before high fiving once more.

Keith sighed. “You didn't answer my question.”

“TWISTERRRR!” Pidge cried, draping the mat over their head. “It's fun but it's exercise so we thought it would be great for team bonding!”

“Sounds great, guys.” Shiro said, draping his arm over Keith's shoulders, stopping him from bolting out of the room. “I call spinner first round though.”

Whooping excitedly, the Garrison Trio ran to the middle to the floor to spread out the mat, which happened to be two times the size of a normal one because Pidge is extra, shedding their shoes as they went. Following at a more sedate pace, Keith and Shiro joined them, shoes up against the wall. Motioning for the Spinner, Shiro stood to the side out of the way of the players.

“Ground rules guys.” Shiro stated. “Don't goan like that Pidge I know you were thinking of cheating.” Huffing at him, said gremlin motioned for him to continue.

“Nothing can touch the floor except for hands, feet, or elbows. Be careful if you fall, and try not to fall on someone else. Sabotage is expected, but if you get caught, you get cleaning duty for a week.” Shiro paused as the group cheered. “Ready? Lance, right foot red, and doN'T KICK KEITH.”

“Awwwww.” Lance groaned, putting his leg back down in the right spot. You're no fun.”

They played a lot. After five rounds of losing, Pidge gave up and confiscated the spinner, claiming themself the lord of games. Hunk was done after round seven, sprawling onto his back in the area just off the mat. Round eleven was when Shiro called it quits, after losing to Lance when Keith fell on top of him. Down to the final two, Pidge called for a championship match between them.

“No punishment for sabotage this round, boys!” They crowed excitedly. “Anything is fair game. Also, any body parts that are not hands, feet, or elbows that I call must be followed through. Any complaints?” Getting none, they spun the wheel. “Lance, left hand green.”

Placing his hand in the circle, he lifted his eyes to glare at his rival. “You’re going down Mullet.”

“Not a chance.” Keith replied, moving to place his foot on a spot.

“Lance! Right hand yellow!” Pidge interrupted, mischievous grin plastered on their face. Looking at the spots, Lance groaned.

“I'm gonna have to do the thing won't I?” He groaned. Hunk sat up excitedly, bouncing in place.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” Pidge and Hunk chanted. Looking slightly exasperated, Lance sighed and moved to place his hand on the spot. As he placed his hand down, Shiro and Keith watched curiously as Lance shifted his hips. Suddenly, Lance's feet were in the air and he was perched in a perfect handstand.

Apparently oblivious to Keith and Shiro's shock he started kicking his feet in the air. “Hurry up Pidge. You know I can't hold this forever.”

“Fiiinneee.” They groaned. “Keith, right hand green.”

 

Twenty minutes later, the two were still going strong, getting more and more tangled. Keith was currently doing a bridge, arms shaking with exertion. Lance, on the other hand, was still going strong, despite the fact that he was in the Spiderman pose, elbows on the mat, with his front leg still in the air.

“Lance, right leg in the air!” Pidge called, now sitting in Shiro's lap.

Grimacing, Lance slowly pulled his leg out from under Keith, bringing it behind him. Then, as before, he kicked both legs in the air, curling them back. This time though, being so close to Keith, his body ended up being bent in an arch over Keith's torso.

It was just their luck that Allura chose that moment to walk into the room. Taking a long look at a sheepish Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge, she turned to look at Keith and Lance, and her eyes widened in shock. She stood in place for a moment, before spinning on her heel and marching out of the training deck. “Nope. Don't wanna know tell me later.”

Pidge snorted, then spun the wheel again, enjoying the extreme reddening of Keith's face. “Keith, elbow on yellow!”

As soon as he lifted his hand, though, his other arm gave out, and he was sent crashing to the floor. Luckily, Lance had noticed how unbalanced Keith had been, and slipped out from under him just in time. Sitting back on his haunches, Lance laughed, loud and long. “Victory!” He cried, throwing his arms into the air.

Ignoring Keith, who was still on the floor muttering “How….so flexible….in my face…”  
Lance made his way over to the others, watching Shiro give Hunk 20 GAC.

“You bet on us?” Lance gasped dramatically, hand flying to his chest in fake offence. “How rude!”

Hunk laughed as Shiro shook his head in amusement. “Since when were you so flexible?” He asked, still watching Keith have a gay crisis in the middle of the floor. “And just how flexible are you?”

“I've been doing gymnastics my whole life,” Lance replied, stretching out next to Hunk. “As for how flexible, how is this?” Flipping onto his stomach, he pulled his feet up to his head and laid them flat on the floor on either side of his face.

Keith had been sitting up, blush starting to recede, when he saw Lance being bendy again. Forgetting everything, his blush returned full force, and he collapsed again.

At that, Shiro laughed, moving Pidge off his lap as he stood. “Let's go see what Allura wanted a while ago.” He said, helping Hunk off the floor while Pidge stood and Lance unfurled himself, rolling to his feet.

The group walked out the door, leaving Keith on the floor, contemplating his life choices. Looking over his shoulder, Shiro snickered at the look on his face. “Take your time Keith.”

Keith ended up staying there for four more hours.

 

Hunk had to come back and drag him out of the room so he would actually take care of himself.

 

Keith couldn't look at Lance for two days afterwards without turning bright as a cherry.

 

Lance continued to be a precious oblivious bean.

 

Allura never found out what they had been doing.

 

The Twister mat didn't come back out for months afterwards.

 

Coran remained happily oblivious to what had gone on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is flexible and you can't change my mind. Flustered Keith is the best. Anyways, comments and kudos welcome! I take requests and suggestions too, so don't be afraid to comment! K thnks by


	6. Dodgeball ft. The Blade of Marmora

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not any of the requests, I'm still working on those. I just had the biggest desire to have Keith do the dodgeball speech from Supernatural. Sue me if you want, but I think it's pretty funny. So, dodgeball. Paladins and Blades. WOOT WOOT

It was Keith's turn to lead training today. See, Allura used to be in charge of training, but she kept running the team ragged, pushing them too hard. Shiro and Coran had to hold an intervention, and Allura finally relented her control over training. Shiro used the newfound freedom to make a new schedule, with each paladin getting a turn to lead.

When it's Hunk's turn, you can usually count on weight training that day. Pidge liked building stamina, and Lance would do gymnastics, the stretchy boy he is. Shiro brought more variety, but Keith was always a mystery.

When it was Keith's turn, anything went. They did everything from bonding exercises to facing the gladiator and everything in between. Hand to hand fighting, games of strategy, heck, they even did parkour! Basically, nobody knew what Keith was gonna do next, even Shiro.

Training day ended up aligning with a visit from the Blades, which didn't end up being a problem. Kolivan and Allura had decided that it would be good for helping the two groups work together better, so the Blades were joining training for the day. It was just an added bonus that it was Keith's turn to lead.

It was a big surprise for everyone when they walked into the training deck and saw Keith (who was wearing shorts for once) standing in the middle of the room, a line of balls on either side. Noticing the large group standing in the doorway (there were a lot of Blades), he motioned them over to line up in front of him. The Garrison Trio looked excited, and ran over at once, cheering and whooping all the way. The Blade members followed at a more sedate pace, curiosity clear in their strides. Allura, who was also joining the training for the day, looked confused as Shiro guided her over to the others. Seeing as Allura and the Blades had never played, Keith decided to explain, a grin never leaving his face.

“Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented.” Stated Keith, picking up a ball as he walked down the line of players. A whistle was dangling around his neck, and he looked like a stereotypical middle school gym teacher.

“A game of skill, agility, and cunning.” He continued, looking everyone in the eye as he passed. Nobody moved, watching as he neared the end of the line where Lance was standing, not paying attention as Keith moved closer.

“A game with one simple rule.” Keith whirled around to face Lance and threw, the ball slamming into his gut. Startled, Lance let out a strangled ‘Oof’ and toppled back. Grinning viciously, Keith turned back to the startled onlookers.

“Dodge.”

“Isn't this dangerous?” Allura asked, looking worriedly at Lance, who was now splayed dramatically on the ground, moaning about betrayal and never being able to stand again.

“Don't worry princess. This is a kid's game back on Earth. They play it all the time in schools.” Turning to address everybody again, Keith started giving out instructions.

“This is a game to build hand-eye coordination and increase reaction time. There are a few rules to stop any major injuries from happening.” He stated sternly, like he was talking to children. “First off, no headshots. You cannot deliberately aim for someone's head or face. If you do, you are outta the game for the rest of the day.”

“Second,” Keith said, beginning to pace again. “If you throw a ball and it is caught, you are out! If you catch a ball that someone threw, one of your team members can come back in! Third, no crossing the centerline! You do, you're out. That goes for all boundary lines as well. Fourth, you get hit, play fair. If the ball hits you, you're out. If it bounces on the floor first, you're safe.”

He stops in the middle of the room again, and scans the line, seemingly debating something. Nodding to himself, he speaks up again. “Team captains are Shiro and Kolivan. Make sure you have a mixture of Blades and paladins on your teams. Shiro, show him how it's done.”

Once teams were picked, the two groups split to either side of the room. Shiro had ended up with Hunk, Pidge, and several Blades. Kolivan had Lance, Allura, and the rest. Keith stood in the middle, whistle at the ready. “TWEEEEET”

Both groups surged forwards, and the game began. Within the first several seconds, Pidge and a few of Shiro's Blades were out, along with Allura and several of Kolivan’s Blades. Balls were flying, and everyone looked to be having a good time.

More specifically, Lance looked like someone had given him the best gift ever. It was like he was made for the game, flipping and twisting through the balls like he was dancing. Keith wouldn't have been surprised if he actually was dancing. Plus, his deadly aim gave him a hit for every ball he threw.

By now, Coran had walked in and made his way over to Keith, looking amused by the carnage in the middle of the room. Keith shot him a grin, but kept his eyes on the match, yelling at a Blade member to “Get off the court! YES THE NECK COUNTS! THE NECK IS NOT THE FACE!”

Within minutes, it was down to two. Kolivan had been hit by a barrage from Shiro, leaving him and Lance in a standoff. The two stared each other down, neither moving an inch. Both groups were cheering for their respective players, getting louder as time went on.

Shiro was holding a ball, and Lance was unarmed, the nearest ball three feet to his left. He snuck a glance in that direction and Shiro noticed and grinned, making Lance sweat nervously. A pen fell out of Pidge's pocket and hit the floor, and both boys MOVED.

Shiro chucked the ball, aiming for where Lance was diving, reaching for the ball on the floor. The ball flew closer, and Lance shifted, rolling forward and into a split, ducking just as the ball wizzed past his head. The sidelines roared, and Shiro paled as Lance pushed himself up, ball in hand as he turned to face him once more.

Shiro didn't stand a chance. Lance wound up his pitch, cackling loudly. “This bitch empty!” He screamed and threw, the ball smacking Shiro's arm as Lance yelled “YEET!”

Keith blew his whistle, ending the game. The teams cheered, and Lance was lifted onto Allura's shoulders, laughing the whole time. He was paraded out, most likely to the kitchens for a victory snack, and the room began to empty. Kolivan winked at Keith and Shiro as he left, posture more relaxed than they had ever seen from him. Finally, the last ones left were Keith, who was picking up, and Coran, who decided to help.

Curious about the whistle, Coran finally spoke up, picking up a stray ball from a far corner. “What's that around your neck Number 4?”

Keith smiled and wiggled it between his fingers. “It's a whistle.” He replied, twirling it a little. “We use them back on Earth a lot. Mainly for crowd control, because they're loud, and kids are taught to pay attention whenever they hear it.”

Coran nodded in understanding. “So it's almost instinctual! Interesting!”

Keith laughed, walking out of the room. “The whistle makes me their god.”

The door closed behind him, leaving a newly confused and slightly worried Coran with the dodgeballs. He sighed, and went to place the balls in the closet, muttering under his breath.

“I'll never understand you humans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just -flailing hands- Keith watching Supernatural in his year alone and relating to Dean on a spiritual level is -talks in gibberish and flails arms wildly, accidentally summoning Lucifer-
> 
> Comments and kudos appriciated! I do take requests, so feel free to leave them. I have no idea when the next chapter will be, so be on the lookout.
> 
> K thnks by


	7. Rock You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not a game, but I've got a bad case of writer's block, so it's gonna have to do.

Anybody could tell that Lance was bored. The Voltron Coalition was in the middle of a meeting, discussing further plans for overtaking the Empire. It had been going on for over three varga now, and everyone was getting restless. Pidge and Hunk had given up paying attention half a varga in, and had started tinkering with Pidge's latest project. Keith was the next to zone out, one varga in, whipping out his blade to work on cleaning it.

Lance held in for a surprising two and a half varga, before losing interest and starting to play with the Altean office supplies littering the table. Even Shiro was almost falling asleep. The sad part is, none of the leaders noticed, as they were all listening to Allura's latest plan.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Keith was first to show his restlessness, tapping his foot to a beat as he cleaned his blade, occasionally holding it up to the light to check his progress. In the corner, Pidge's typing also gained a rhythm, their head bobbing along.

Click click clack. Click click clack.

Shiro lazily cracked open an eye as Lance grabbed a couple of Altean pens to add to the beat, stomping his feet and tapping the table in time.

By now, to Coalition was starting to take notice, and one by one began turning toward the disturbance. Ignoring them, Shiro tilted his face back, a huge smile on his face.

“Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise. Playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday.”

Taking notice of the distraction, Allura turned around, ready to scold them for the interruption. She was cut off by Lance jumping out of his seat, dancing to the beat.

“You got mud on your face, you big disgrace.”

He was quickly joined by Hunk and Pidge, all three stomping and clapping together.

“Kicking your can all over the place, singing,”

Shiro and Keith stood to join them, all shouting at the same time.

“WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!”

“What is this?” Asked a Coalition member. “Is it some sort of human ritual?”

“Should we stop them?” Another asked, watching as the paladins began jumping around in a circle, unaware of their surroundings.

Allura sighed, glancing back to the call screens. “It's best to let them get it out of their systems. They tend to be calmer after doing things like this. We'll wait it out.”

With no idea when the dancing would be over, the various leaders settled down to watch, silently nodding to the rhythm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it's not what you guys were waiting for, but at least it's something, right? Also GUESS WHO GOT THEIR PHONE BACK! WOOO!
> 
> Braces are the worst. I'm getting mine off either Thursday or Friday, but they tightened them and I'm in a lot of pain. I can't wait to chew gum again.
> 
> Anyways, I love getting kudos and comments from you guys! I take requests and suggestions, but I may or may not use them, it depends. Feel free to leave them though! Hope you guys had a Happy New year! K thnks by


	8. Boi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait but I just have no inspiration as of recently. I'll try to post again soon, but it's probably gonna be a while.

"I lost the game."

"LANCE YOU LITTLE SHIT GET BACK HERE!"

*CRASH*

"THAT IS MAHOGANY!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deal with it.
> 
>  
> 
> Plz comment and kudos and all that jazz. K thnks by


	9. Knife to meet you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura asks the wrong person about other Earth games. Shennanagins ensue.
> 
> Requested by xXkitsuneknightXx it's the knife song! I had to find the lyrics because most videos were taken down, but I found them! Hope you like it!

Allura was conflicted. A few dobashes ago, she had been asking Pidge more about games and things on Earth. The next thing she knows, Pidge disappears out of the room and comes back with an indifferent Keith, an excited Lance, and an exasperated Shiro. Hunk and Coran were busy fixing the wormhole generator again, so they were just gonna have to miss it.

With them, the paladins had brought a couple worrying items. Lance was carrying a guitar, which wasn't that strange, but Keith had his knife out and Shiro was carrying a first-aid kit. Worried, Allura voiced her concerns. “What are you planning, Pidge?”

Pidge snickered before they answered, eyes gleaming with mirth. “I had come up with another Earth game to show you, and I figured that Keith would be able to do it best. Lance must have overheard, because the next thing I know, he burst through the door with his guitar and Shiro in tow, claiming he wanted to play too.”

“But why does Shiro have the kit?” Asked Allura, glancing at said bag suspiciously.

“Because this game is stupidly dangerous and I need to be able to act immediately in case Keith makes any mistakes.” Shiro muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. Noticing the shocked look Allura had, Keith sat down next to her at the table, laying down the knife as he did so.

“Don't worry Allura. I've done this many times, so it's not that big of a deal.” He said, watching the other three each take a seat.

“Here we go!” Lance crowed. “Keith, you gotta sing along too, seeing as Shiro won't let us use alcohol.” Turning to the princess, he winked and smiled. “Here goes. This was a popular trend a while back appropriately named: The Knife Song.”

Strumming a few chords, Lance began to sing, Keith joining in after a moment's hesitation. “There is an old tradition, a game we all can play. You start by getting liquored up and sharpening your blade!”

Allura and Shiro watched silently, the former slightly disturbed as Pidge joined in, the latter just sighing.

“You take a shot of whiskey, you grab your knife and pray!” They sang, Keith picking up the knife as they went, positioning it next to his thumb. “And spread apart your fingers, and this is what you say!”

With morbid fascination, Allura watched as Keith began stabbing the blade between his fingers, moving back and forth between each pair. Ignoring his audience in favor of watching his hands, Keith took the lead for the chorus, still steadily stabbing.

“Oh, I have all my fingers! The knife goes chop chop chop! If I miss the spaces in between my fingers will come off!” Earning a small gasp from Allura, the trio continued their song, never slowing down.

Noticing her distress, Shiro leaned over to whisper in her ear. “This is why I brought the med kit. You never know.” Allura could only nod, choosing to remain quiet for the rest of the song.

“And if I hit my fingers, the blood will soon come out! But all the same I play this game, cause that's what it's all about!” Setting down the knife momentarily, they carried on to the next verse.

“Oh you can't use a pencil, you can not use a pen! The only way is with a knife when danger is your friend!” Keith sang, locking eyes with Shiro. “And some may call it stupid, some may call it dumb!” Rolling his eyes, Shiro gave a soft groan before joining, causing Allura to shift away slightly, somewhat scared of her paladins.

“But all the same we play this game because it's so damn fun!” Picking up the knife once more, Keith began his rhythm again, only slightly faster.

“Oh, I have all my fingers! The knife goes chop chop chop! If I miss the spaces in between my fingers will come off! And if I hit my fingers, the blood will soon come out! But all the same I play this game, cause that's what it's all about!”

Everyone watched Keith as he moved even faster, speeding up the rhythm again as Shiro and Pidge dropped out of the song, leaving just Lance and Keith. “Oh, chop chop chop chop chop chop chop I'm picking up the speed.” They sang, the knife almost a blur by now with how fast Keith was going. Allura could only watch in amazement as he kept going, thunks from the blade hitting the table echoing around the room.

“And if I hit my fingers, my hand will start to bleed!”

THUNK. The last note cutting off quickly, Keith stabs the table one last time, leaving the knife quivering in place as he holds up his hand.

“NO WAY!” Pidge cried, Lance shrieking in agreement, both flailing wildly. “NO CUTS!” Shiro was impressed, and there was a glint of relief in his eyes after he heard there were no injuries.

“THAT'S GOTTA BE SOME SORT OF RECORD!” Lance agreed, shaking Keith's shoulders. Keith just grinned proudly, slapping Lance's hands away.

“Told you I was good. You now owe me a week of chore duty.” He said, shifting to face Allura as Lance groaned in disappointment “Um….Allura? Are you ok?”

Pidge walked over and waived their hand in front of her face, earning no reaction. “Guys, I think we just broke Allura.”

Everyone glanced at each other and then back at the princess. Slowly, they all turned and snuck out the door, resolving to come back in a few minutes with Coran and some heavy-duty noisemakers to snap her out of it.

As soon as the doors slid shut behind them, Allura snapped out of her daze, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. 'These humans are crazy! This was POPULAR? They have no self-preservation whatsoever! I don't think I'm ever asking Pidge about these things again.’

Standing, Allura turned and left, the door swishing closed behind her. Only the knife was left, stuck upright in the table as the lights clicked off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since the last update. School has been crazy, and I've had college applications to take care of, so there hasn't been much time for writing. Thank you so much for being so patient with me. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Drop a kudos if you did, and don't forget to comment! I read each and every one, so don't be afraid to ask me anything. Once again, thanks for reading, and I love you guys! K thanks by

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a Kudos if you enjoyed! Critique welcome, but please no flames. If you have a request, I'll try my best!


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